IIn the previous article, Where Did I Get the Idea That This Would Make Me Happy?, we examined where our beliefs about happiness come from. We discovered that many of the things we believe were learned from family, friends, education, culture, and our own experiences, often without our realizing it.
Some of those beliefs have served us well. Others may have led us to expect something that never happened.
But recognizing that a belief may be mistaken raises another question: How do we know what to believe instead?
We could listen to another expert, adopt a different philosophy, read another book, or try something new. But how would we know whether the next answer is any more reliable than the one we just questioned?
Perhaps the answer begins with understanding something about ourselves.
We Don’t Know Everything
Most of us understand that our knowledge is limited. We make decisions based on what we know, what we have experienced, and what we believe will happen.
Sometimes we’re right. Sometimes we’re wrong.
We may take a job believing it will improve our lives, only to discover that the additional income comes with responsibilities or pressures we didn’t anticipate. We may enter a relationship expecting it to make us happy, only to discover that relationships require far more than having someone who meets our needs.
That doesn’t necessarily mean we made bad decisions. It means we couldn’t see everything that would follow.
Yet when it comes to our happiness, we often behave as though we know exactly what will produce it.
If I could just get this one thing settled, then I could finally be content.
And when we get it, another concern eventually takes its place.
The problem may not be our inability to get what we want. It may be our assumption that we know what will make us content.
What if contentment depends upon something we haven’t fully understood?
What Have We Learned About Contentment?
Human beings have been wrestling with this question for thousands of years.
Ancient Greek philosophers recognized that satisfying every desire doesn’t necessarily produce a good life. They emphasized the importance of wisdom, restraint, and character.
Chinese traditions taught the importance of cultivating character, governing desires, and living in harmony with an order greater than individual preference.
Buddhist teachings identified craving and attachment as important sources of suffering.
These traditions differ considerably in their explanations of life and reality. Yet they repeatedly recognized something similar: allowing our desires to govern our lives does not reliably produce contentment.
Modern psychology has observed something related.
We can become accustomed to improvements in our circumstances. What once seemed extraordinary gradually becomes normal. The new house becomes simply our house. The promotion becomes our job. The income we once hoped to earn becomes the amount we now believe we need.
We adjust, and often begin looking for something else.
This doesn’t mean possessions, achievements, or relationships are bad. They can contribute substantially to a good life.
But perhaps we have been expecting them to provide something they cannot guarantee.
And if that is true, what should we do differently?
Perhaps We Need to Change How We Think
Consider what happens when something doesn’t turn out the way we expected.
We may become disappointed, frustrated, worried, or angry. We may spend considerable time thinking about what should have happened, what someone else should have done, or how we can make things turn out differently.
Sometimes we can change the situation. Sometimes we cannot.
But even when we cannot change what happened, we can examine what we believe about it.
For example, suppose you have a job you genuinely enjoy. You like the work, the independence, and the freedom it provides. But circumstances change, and you recognize that continuing in that job may no longer meet your responsibilities.
You now have a decision to make.
You could insist that you must keep the job because it is what you want. You could become consumed with worry about what might happen if you leave. Or you could recognize the problem, consider your options, and begin taking appropriate action without knowing exactly how everything will turn out.
The circumstances haven’t necessarily improved. The uncertainty remains.
But something important has changed.
You no longer require the situation to turn out exactly as you prefer before you can have peace of mind.
You still have preferences. You still have responsibilities. You still make decisions and take action.
But your contentment is no longer entirely dependent upon controlling the outcome.
That is a very different way of approaching life.
And it begins with changing how we think.
But What Should Guide That Change?
This brings us to a more difficult question.
If our own understanding sometimes leads us to mistaken expectations, how do we determine which beliefs need to change?
We can learn from experience, listen to others, and examine the results of our decisions. These are valuable ways of gaining understanding.
But experience alone doesn’t always tell us what is true. We can misunderstand why something happened. We can repeat a mistake without recognizing it. We can even achieve what we wanted while continuing to believe something that doesn’t serve us well.
So perhaps the question isn’t simply whether we are willing to change our thinking.
Perhaps it is what we should use to determine whether our thinking is right in the first place.
Throughout history, people have recognized principles that seem to describe how human beings function.
Honesty tends to build trust. Self-control helps prevent destructive decisions. Humility makes it possible to learn. Gratitude helps us recognize what we already have. Acceptance allows us to respond to circumstances rather than remain consumed by what we cannot change.
These principles are not guarantees of a trouble-free life. Honest people can be deceived. Responsible people can experience hardship. Good decisions can still produce disappointing results.
Nevertheless, the principles remain useful.
We don’t have to invent them, and they don’t become true simply because we agree with them.
What if there is an order to human life that we are meant to understand rather than create for ourselves?
Someone Who Learned to Be Content
Nearly two thousand years ago, a man named Paul wrote about something he had learned through very different circumstances.
He had experienced abundance and need. He knew what it was like to have enough and what it was like to go without. Yet he wrote that he had learned to be content regardless of his circumstances. And he wrote these words while imprisoned, with his own future uncertain.
Notice what he didn’t say.
He didn’t say he had learned how to obtain everything he wanted. He didn’t say his difficulties had disappeared or that he had finally arranged his life to his satisfaction.
He said he had learned to be content.
Paul’s explanation is found in Philippians 4:11–13. He attributed his ability to endure changing circumstances to the strength he received through Christ.
Paul wasn’t describing contentment as something he produced simply by becoming more determined, disciplined, or self-sufficient.
He was describing something he learned through dependence upon someone greater than himself.
He had come to trust a source of understanding and strength beyond his own.
And because of that, his circumstances no longer had to determine whether he could be content.
What If There Is a Source of Truth Beyond Ourselves?
The Bible presents an idea that is worth considering, even if you aren’t certain what you believe about God.
It teaches that human beings were created, that their Creator understands them, and that there are principles governing how they were intended to live.
One of those principles is expressed in Proverbs 3:5–6: trust God rather than depending entirely upon your own understanding.
Consider the practical implication.
If your understanding is limited, but God’s is not, then trusting Him means becoming willing to follow what He says even when you cannot see how everything will turn out.
It doesn’t mean you stop thinking, making decisions, or taking responsibility for your life.
It means you recognize that your understanding may not be the most reliable authority available to you.
The Bible also describes the importance of renewing our minds, or changing the way we think, rather than simply following the patterns we have learned from the world around us (Romans 12:2).
These ideas fit together.
If we discover that a belief we have relied upon is mistaken, we need something more reliable to replace it.
And if God created us, wouldn’t He understand better than anyone how we were intended to live?
That is the possibility Paul had already accepted.
He didn’t have to know how every circumstance would turn out. He had learned to trust the One he believed did.
His contentment grew out of that relationship.
And If That Is True, Then What?
Perhaps you have spent years learning how to accomplish your goals, improve your circumstances, and obtain the things you want.
There is nothing inherently wrong with those accomplishments.
But what if contentment was never intended to be the reward for arranging your life exactly the way you wanted?
What if it develops as you learn to understand what is true, change beliefs that conflict with that truth, and live according to principles you can trust?
And what if those principles come from the One who created you?
Then perhaps the next step isn’t another accomplishment.
Perhaps it is becoming willing to question something more fundamental: Who or what have you been trusting to tell you how life should work?
You don’t have to pretend you already know the answer. You can begin by examining what you believe, considering what God says, and looking at what happens when those principles are put into practice.
That doesn’t promise that every problem will disappear or that every decision will produce the outcome you want.
It offers a different foundation for living—one that does not require you to control everything before you can experience contentment.
A Question Worth Considering
We began this series with a simple question: I have everything I want. Why am I still not happy?
That question led us to examine what we believe, where those beliefs came from, and whether the things we expected to make us happy were ever capable of providing lasting contentment.
Now we have arrived at something much larger.
Perhaps there is a truth about how human beings were intended to live that exists independently of what we want or believe.
If so, where does that truth come from?
Ultimately, there are two possibilities concerning God’s existence.
Either God is, or God is not.
If God does not exist, we must look elsewhere to explain human nature, the principles that help us live well, and the source of contentment.
But if God exists, and He created us, then perhaps He knows something about how we were meant to live that we have overlooked.
And if that is true…
Then wouldn’t it make sense to find out what He says?
We explore that question further in Is There Such a Thing as Truth?
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